As we approach the holidays during this crazy year, there are constant reminders of how things are not normal. A “normal” holiday season in student ministry means parties, ministry opportunities, and concerts upon concerts. While these things go hand in hand with student ministry, they can bring some unwanted tension into the home. There is always a bit of a push and pull between home and ministry that becomes a little bit more noticeable during the holidays. Sometimes, it can be downright exhausting, but we plug on because we love students and know that January will more than likely provide an opportunity to catch our breath. How do we balance out the holidays or whatever season of ministry we are in with our families? We know that God places a great deal of importance on our families and working towards a healthy balance of the two should be high on our list. Here are a few thoughts on how we can do that better.
1. Keep the lines of communication open. It is important that you and your spouse share concerns as they are happening. Whether it is Christmas or another season all together, communication will help ease any resentment that might build between you and your spouse during especially busy times. It will also all you to find solutions together so that you family knows that they are important.
2. Have a shared calendar. Whether you use an iCalendar, Google Calendar, or something on your fridge, it is important that those in your family and church understand what is coming up. I loved the big wet-erase calendar that we had a Temple Baptist Church of Rogers. I could step up to it and see what was happening in our church at a glance. In my own family and current ministry setting, we share calendars through our Apple devices. Practically speaking, this is one of the easiest and most valuable things that you can do to help manage the push/pull of ministry and family.
3. Go to your kids’ concerts and games. Your child will only have one third grade Christmas concert. It is important that your church knows that these milestone events are going to take precedence. When my own kids hit high school, I wanted to be at ever game that they marched in as a part of the band. Did I make it to them all? No, but I did make it to most of them. They have both graduated and I don’t regret that decision at all. There will always be high school football games to attend for the students in your ministry, but after a very brief time, your children will have moved on and there is no way to get that time back. Make sure your kids know that they are important to you.
4. Discuss church expectations with your pastor. Make sure that they are reasonable. The last youth pastor may have not had kids or healthy boundaries in his life. Don’t be afraid to say “no” to events or activities if they are going to harm your family. Your first ministry is in the home.
5. Carve out date nights and family days. Setting aside moments with your family shows them that they are truly a priority in your life. If you invest in those “special” days, it will help your family be more understanding when you are faced with a summer full of activity with your student ministry.
Balancing ministry and family is a challenge. There is no way around that. With God’s help, we can navigate these waters and find a sweet spot where our family is connected to our ministries in great ways.